阶梯之间第一季

不看后悔的口碑限定剧，也是脸叔时隔25年回归小银幕之作，女主由金球奖电视类音乐/喜剧类剧集最佳女主角托妮·科莱特饰演，还惊喜地看到了越来越美的Sophie!

俗话说，不怕纯属虚构，就怕真事改编。我一边紧张追剧，一边总结了这些使用的口语表达分享给你——

1 ETA 预计到达时间

ETA 的全称是：estimated time of arrival 预计到达时间，What'syourETA? 你预计什么时间到达？

2 shit-faced 烂醉的

shitfaced= extremely drunk 喝得烂醉、不省人事，喝得酩酊大醉还可以说：dead drunk/ wasted/ hammered, 有点醉意可以说：I'm a bit buzzed/ I'm a little tipsy.

3 see past sth. 不被某事影响

see past sth. 直译是看透，意思是不被某事影响或改变自己的观点，hiccup 打嗝，引申为小问题， Michael 早年可以说自信满满，认为选民们不会因为小小的性格问题就放弃支持自己。

4 keep head above water 勉强应付

这个表达很好理解，让头部保持在水面上才能保证不被淹死，当我们遇到糟糕的事情尤其是财务上的困境时，就可以用这句。Thebusinessis introuble, but we are just aboutkeepingourheadsabovewater. 公司遇到了一些问题，但我们还得勉强应付下去。

5 witch hunt 政治迫害

witch hunt这个词常常在美国政治相关语境中出现，字面意思是猎杀女巫，现在用来形容对持不同政见、或非常规观点者进行的打击与迫害。

在欧洲中世纪，女巫被视为是邪恶的、利用巫术(witchcraft)害人的异类，因此女巫被愤怒的民众逮到后，常遭受极刑。猎巫行为本来就是为了转移社会矛盾而把弱势人群当做替罪羊，所谓的女巫都是无辜的受害者。

美国前总统特朗普就把针对他的弹劾称为: witch hunt:" The Greatest Witch Hunt In American History!"

6 blurt sth. out 脱口而出

这个短语很好记，blurt不假思索地冲口而出，blurt sth. out 就是脱口而出。

Don'tblurt. 别多嘴。

Shesuddenlyblurted out, "I can't do it!" 她突然脱口而出道“我不能做这件事。”

7 empty nest 空巢

空巢一词源于英文，顾名思义就是“空寂的巢穴”，比喻小鸟离巢后的情景，被引申为子女离开后家庭空寂。 empty nester 空巢老人，empty nest syndrome 空巢综合症，指父母因子女长大离家而郁郁寡欢。

8 I'm home cooking 我搞砸了

这个表达很有意思，home cooking 字面意思是在家做饭，通常在家做饭的时候，我们只是把食材混在一起，边做边看需要加什么料。这里是委婉地表达“没有做好计划就去做某事”。

9 lock and load 重装上阵

lock 锁，引申为闭锁，load装载，引申为上膛，lock and load 枪机闭锁、子弹上膛——准备战斗，也用来表示为即将发生的事情做好准备。

10 be out of the loop 圈外人

loop 圆圈，be out of the loop 在圈外面，不是圈内人，得到的消息也滞后。

与之对应的圈内人、消息灵通人士，则用 be in the loop 来表示。

You cantellshe's in the loop. She alwaysknowsaboutpolicydecisionsbefore therestof us.

她很明显是圈内人。她总是在我们所有人之前就知道政策决定。

如果你也喜欢本剧，不妨帮我点个赞吧，赞多的话我来继续更新～

｜本文作者：枫叶依蓝

｜审校编辑：Juliet

｜总 编：大风哥Wind

前4集： 前三集故事一点点揭开，层出不穷的问题一个一个摆在眼前。一个惨烈的死亡案件，牵扯出许多以往不为人知的点点滴滴。不管是杏取向，孩子们之间的不信任，还是尘封多年的前妻的死亡，多个事情交杂在一起使得这个案件更为扑朔迷离。第四集场景则到了法庭上，互相交锋开火，好不热闹。然而结尾案子判完了你突然想起，这个剧才仅仅播到一半，好戏才刚刚拉开帷幕。这个剧还是比较下饭的，观赏性挺高，情节一直都在撩拨你的神经。 脸叔献上了近年来最成熟的表演之一，男主各项性格挣扎都诠释地淋漓尽致。戏份很少的托尼·柯莱特仍然能在这场大群戏中献上夺人眼球的表演。迈克尔·斯图巴的表现也颇老道深厚，而朱丽叶·比诺什第4集后也必然开始戏份多起来也很让人期待。

〔前4集〕2022.5.14

第5、6集： 四集就结束法庭宣判，这在罪案剧中很不常见。这两集是牢狱环节，纪录片团队继续后期工作，孩子们也想办法处理好自己和父亲的事情，比诺什的角色不断想办法证明他的清白。还有两集，感觉高潮部分应该还是会放在下一集。比诺什的表演撑起了这个剧后半段的质感和推进的成分，而托尼·柯莱特依然用很分散的戏份贡献了精准的表演，两位都值得女配提名。

2022.5.28

第7、8集： 最后两集这个节奏好棒，一气呵成看完了。脸叔这个角色塑造的太好了，复杂的心理演绎得丝丝入扣，很久没有看到这么强的男演员表演了。这么长的时间跨度，还是让人看不清的一个人，或者也许有时候我们只是太容易相信一些人。当然科莱特和比诺什两位女演员就是神仙吧，演技都太强了。今年表演质量最强的限定剧无疑。

2022.6.11

首先梳理一下时间线：Peterson和亡妻于1988年开始同居，1992年买了后来成为案发地的房产。1997年两人结婚。2001年12月9日案发，11天后Peterson即被起诉收监，2002年1月保释。2002年10月，女方的生女Caitlin对男方提起民事诉讼并最终获得2500万美元判赔。2003年6月德国居住时的邻居尸体被挖出进行尸检，2003年7月开庭。2003年10月，陪审团评议四天后作出了有罪判决。

2008年8月，Peterson一家的邻居开了个新闻发布会，公开宣布了猫头鹰杀人的理论。

2011年9月，因专家证人Deaver的污点被揭露，Peterson获得了重审机会，并居家监禁，几年后取掉了踝部定位环。2017年2月24日，他作出了Alford Plea，获得自由。2019年，Peterson和前妻搬到了一起（现在住在一处没有楼梯的公寓中）。

纪录片则是在2002年2月开拍，2004年本案两次上诉之间首发了两小时版本，2005年发布完整8集。2011年男主戏剧性的获得重审机会，剧组跟踪拍摄并在2012年发布了两小时更新内容，后辑为纪录片的第9、10集。2017年男主辩诉交易获得自由，2018年，Netflix购买了全系列10集纪录片并签约剧组多做3集，该年四月先在翠贝卡电影节首映，夏天在Netflix上线。

Peterson杀妻了吗？

先来看看纪录片导演的说法。他在翠贝卡电影节首映后的观众见面会上回答了这个问题。相关报导值得整段翻译如下：

虽然他当初并非想要找出Peterson有罪还是无辜的真相，但他确实形成了自己的观点：他不相信Peterson杀害了自己的妻子。”我们当晚并不在场，所以我们不能假装我们知道发生了什么“，de Lestrade对翠贝卡电影节观众们说，”每个人可能都有自己的观点或感受，但对于我来说，并没有什么强大的证据被呈现出来证明Peterson杀了他的妻子。我的立场就是如此。“

导演是文化人，又拍了跨度16年、共13集的罪案纪录片（发誓再也不拍纪录片了），措辞是很严谨的，而报道者则明显缺乏相关素养，囫囵弄了个满拧。导演的话总结一下就是：做没做不知道，但证据不足够。

在此不妨引用Danzel Washington在影片《Training Day》里说的台词：问题不是你做了什么，而是你在法庭上能证明什么！

没有证据，意味着无法证明、无法定罪，但并不意味着没有发生。基于此，纪录片肯定要保持一个中立的立场，绝对会努力避免引导观众得出一个确切的结论。也是基于此，本剧也不会给出确切结论，但剧中虚构的情节不但补全了杀人的合理动机，而且加入种种暗示，态度十分暧昧。

对于”在法庭上能证明什么“，纪录片在全案了结后采访到了法官。这短短几分钟出现在13集纪录片的几乎最尾声，可以说信息量是很大的。法官表示，回看本案，当初有些做法不妥，重审的话他会作出不同的选择：德国楼梯事件将不会被允许入证，Peterson性向问题也不会被允许入证。这些证据含义未明，却容易造成对Peterson的偏见。对于德国楼梯事件，本剧借同为律师的男主哥哥之口评论到：法律界同行一致认为这显然不应被允许呈现给陪审团。对于Peterson性向问题，在上诉中，上诉庭已裁决搜查中拿走他的电脑是违宪的。背后道理是，只有存在迹象令警方合理怀疑电脑与本案有关，才能检查电脑，否则侵犯了他的隐私权。电脑得不到的话，性向问题也就无从谈起了。

从初审可见，上面这两个点正是控方大加渲染、丑化Peterson的关键。陪审员后来也有人表示，受到这两点很大的影响才认定他有罪。去掉这两点，他应当是显著的更容易脱罪了。就连法官也在纪录片中表示，再审一次的话，是有可能建立”合理怀疑“（reasonable doubt）的。

然而本案沸沸扬扬多年，这些故事公众皆知，谁知道他们对Peterson会怎么看，对案件会如何认定呢？鉴于此，也为了避免又要多年缠斗，Peterson选择了辩诉交易。

那么真相呢？退一步看：

1. Peterson与亡妻公认恩爱，相伴十余年，子女绕膝，会痛下杀手么？何况这是一个每晚全家一起吃饭的亲密家庭，女儿们和妈妈无话不谈，子女都对父母的婚姻健康表示认可，这是有说服力的。然而现实中又确有发生多年夫妻一朝反目，丈夫杀害妻子的事件，怎能确信这不是又一宗此类案件呢？

2. Peterson与前妻、长女的关系都是可证的不错。前妻曾在纪录片中受访，谈吐上佳，从事教职，是位知识女性。她离婚后仍与Peterson共同抚养二子，案件中始终支持他，案后又与他破镜重圆，现居一起。本剧播出后，长女接受电话采访还把父亲电话接入，父女关系看来还是可以的。这些女性是否可以视作是用实际行动做了Peterson的品质证人？

3. 从始至终，并无迹象显示Peterson是个暴力的人。竞选公职并且说谎贴金是有一点野心和虚荣心，但和杀人并无直接关系。老夫妻之间不论是事业成败还是性向秘密，是否会引发暴力？

对于案件本身的细节，网友的分析不少，我觉得有些怕是属于脑洞开得比较大。我也有自己的疑问，在纪录片第9集重审听证会上接手的女检察官的陈词总结得很好：墙上血迹不知被谁清理过（后来出问题的血迹专家还说过在血迹被擦拭后，上面又添了新的溅血点）；Peterson鞋上有溅血，而仰面尸体的小腿背面印有Peterson的血脚印；其短裤裆部内面有向上方向的溅血。Peterson没有坐上证人席，无法在庭上给出自己的解释，但他在纪录片中也没有解释。

由于缺乏强有力的证据，我们的分析大概只能止于人性的深不可测。如本剧当中纪录片导演所说：若相信他做得出，等于相信我们都做得出。

猫头鹰理论

2008年，在Peterson穷尽司法救济、终身监禁不得假释，而重审机会尚未浮现时，美国好邻居开新闻发布会宣布了自己对于本案的假说：猫头鹰杀人说。

这一假说对于本剧探讨的主题——真相——是相关的，因此剧中对此加以详细介绍并基于此假说而虚拟了整个案发过程。真实世界中，尸检报告的确指出死者的一只手中夹有松针，双手都握有自己的发团，其间夹杂若干小片羽毛。剧中进一步呈现了放大镜下证据对此理论的进一步支持，推测应是有事实依据的。

然而对于纪录片来说，此新闻发布会举办的2008年在当时是个纪录片结束多年、Peterson命运中没有变化发生的年份，而2011年纪录片因重审而延续时，猫头鹰理论和纪录片的主题——美国刑事司法系统中人的命运——并不直接相关，所以整个纪录片都没有提及此事。不过，导演de Lestrade也留意到并探索了这个理论。他后来写道：“表面上，这个理论显得有些荒谬，所以过去我都是对此非常谨慎。但是，如今，我必须承认有数不胜数的事实支持这个猫头鹰假说。两年前，我结识了一位著名的神经外科医生。他花了几天时间仔细研究了凯瑟琳的伤，告诉我说，这些伤与任何用作武器的钝器都不相符。这些伤不可能用管子、锤子、刀、轮胎撬棍、甚至做园艺的小耙子造成。可是，这些伤痕和大型猛禽或食肉鸟类造成的撕裂伤最为相符。四个刺破伤通过不规则撕裂而汇集到一点，而且并不伴随头皮青肿，除非有相反的证据，否则必须被认定为猛禽的爪所造成。而且，这些撕裂的尺寸和大林鸮的爪一样。我认为猫头鹰袭击在室外发生，令凯瑟琳开始晕眩，最可能就是在楼梯上晕眩，导致她摔下楼梯或者摔在了楼梯底部，导致她的甲状软骨骨折。随后她经历了一段时间的失去知觉，最后出血或窒息而死。”

如果这真是猛禽击杀，则Peterson痛失挚爱还要坠入冤狱，全家人都饱受煎熬，真可谓天降横祸了。而纪录片加上本剧，观之更加令人唏嘘。重新尸检可能有助于形成确定性的结论，然而从养父那里打官司获得巨款的Caitlin是不会同意开棺的。真相永夜难明，奈何奈何。

作为一个还挺俗气的人，我热爱“霸总”题材，95版《傲慢与偏见》刷过不知多少遍。

一开始，的确因为是脸叔的新剧，才打开了《阶梯之间》

在看剧之前，我对纪录片，以及“楼梯悬案”一无所知。这也导致了开头十分钟看的我差点睡过去。

主要是“十部悬疑剧，九部杀妻！”这个开头过于俗套。多时间点，多视角叙事，想法很好，但拍出来有点乱。模仿纪录片的拍摄手法也搞的人疲惫不堪。

但第一集拉到一半就开始渐入佳境，能看下去。主要是剧情刺激，反转多。这得益于原版的故事就足够狗血。

“楼梯悬案”美国知名“科学未破解之谜”，有关真凶是谁，至今都能掰扯。而令人玩味的是，这场事故揭开了一个模版式家庭不为人知的另一面。就好比一颗驴粪蛋，表面光可鉴人，内里不腐臭不堪。

这个案子发生在911事件前后。一个女人从自家豪宅的楼梯上跌落，离奇死亡。现场的血迹看起来十分瘆人。发现她跌落并报警的丈夫成为了最大的嫌疑人。

至此，引出了此案件的第一个“要素”就是“名人效应”。作为最大嫌疑人的女人的丈夫迈克是个知名作家。专门写越战背景的小说，还卖出过影视改编版权。甚至在事发前不久还刚竞选过市长。

被怀疑，就会被调查。又是名人八卦，大家都等着看热闹。就这样，一个看似完美的家庭，看似正派的人，背后不堪的过往被一一挖出。

首当其冲的就是在迈克的电脑上，发现了大量露骨的男性照片。还有和同性“密友”调情的聊天记录。

出轨+出柜

而后，人们发现，他在越战中拿到的勋章似乎也是假的。可他写了那么多相关文学，靠这个博得关注，住上豪宅，却原来，引以为傲的荣誉只是一场骗局！

他的经济状况，似乎也不像看上去那么好。老婆的保险金对他来说，搞不好真的很有必要。

最令人啧啧称奇的是，这并不是第一个从楼梯上跌落的女人。20年前在德国，迈克的密友（也是他两个养女的生母）也在楼梯间坠亡，现场同样惨烈，麦克同样是是最后一个见到她的人。

这看起来实在是过分可疑了！可悬案之所以是悬案就在于，一切都合理却偏偏找不到证据，疑似凶器上面没有任何血迹，也不存在目击证人。

你以为狗血仅此而已了吗？并没有，进入司法环节，牵扯出更多的黑幕，丑闻。

围绕着“血迹”这一重要证据，造假的分析报告，对李昌钰这样权威的质疑，各方人物你方唱罢我登场，好不热闹。

最特别的的是，一个法国纪录片制作团队也介入了这个案子，全程跟拍。

这个纪录片，我也顺便找来看了一点。倒是没看出什么门道。不过，比较有争议的点是，纪录片上映时，片子的剪辑师跟迈克本人好上了。

剧里，剪辑师是朱丽叶.比诺什演的。恋爱那段拍的还挺甜的。一直想看脸叔和朱丽叶演个爱情戏，也算是得偿所愿了。

不过，虽然恋爱戏份甜，但纪录片最忌讳的就是“不客观”，剪辑有偏向，提前预设结果明显不够光明正大。

总之，围绕着“阶梯悬案”可供大家拿来作为茶余饭后谈资的要素过于密集。

美国的司法大家都知道，为了说服那“十二怒汉”大家都在煽情。

就如同最近的德普案，看一堆人脸不红，心不跳的朗诵“你喉咙的另外作用”，煞有见识的讨论三斤半的迷你约克夏，拉不拉得出两斤半的排泄物？狗血刺激且低俗，全都是屎尿屁话题。

甚至德普案也有一个楼梯，凯特摩斯还被拉来作证。除了看个乐呵，也不由得感叹“这场官司本质上没有胜者”。因为一旦闹起来，你的一切犄角旮旯，见得光，见不得光的都会暴露在大众面前。

作为纪录片改编而成的电视剧。其实我个人并不是很欣赏那些模仿纪录片的拍摄手法，觉得有点混乱。

但我很喜欢开放式的结局，以及并不下结论这一优点。三种可能性都拍了，意外跌落，迈克就是凶手，以及听起来有点玄幻的猫头鹰的报复。

我当然不会说“事到如今，真相已经不重要了。”这种轻飘飘的话，一条人命，无论怎样都不能说不重要。但围绕着“阶梯悬案”确实有更多真相之外的东西值得玩味。

在外网看到Micheal妹妹（或姐姐？）的发声，和剧集、纪录片中呈现的支持Micheal的亲人们相反，她认为自己的兄弟是有罪的。感觉可以给对事件感兴趣的豆友们一个视角，就搬运过来了。不代表个人观点，谷歌翻译加上个人审校，渣翻请大家见谅。

原文地址：

//web.archive.org/web/20060205042751/http%3A//www.justicemag.com/daily/item/1186.html

标题：当你的兄弟是凶手

Title：When Your Brother Is a Murderer

被定罪的凶手迈克尔·彼得森的姐妹向司法专栏作家凯特·库拉迪写了一封衷心的信，主题是关于被遗忘的暴力犯罪受害者。

The sister of convicted murderer Michael Peterson writes a heartfelt letter to justice columnist Katie Coolady about the forgotten victims of violent crime.

亲爱的凯蒂，

我知道您正在为犯罪受害者主题撰写专栏，我非常喜欢这个想法。我犹豫着是否与您分享，因为我不是受害者，也不是受害者的家人。我是凶手的妹妹，而我的人生也因此不可能与之前相同。

Dear Katie,

I understand that you are writing a column for victims of crimes, and I like that idea a lot. I am hesitant to share with you because I am not a victim, nor am I family of a victim. I am the sister of the murderer, and my life will never be the same.

2001 年 12 月 10 日上午 10 点，我在加利福尼亚的家中，正准备去朋友家吃早餐时，电话响了。那是我的侄子克莱顿。我很高兴接到他的电话，因为我有一段时间没有和他说话了。然后他告诉我，我的嫂子凯瑟琳——我哥哥迈克尔的妻子——在凌晨时分于她位于北卡罗琳娜州的家中的楼梯底下被发现：她从楼梯上摔下来，死了。

At 10 a.m. on December 10, 2001, I was at home in California, preparing to go to a friend's house for breakfast, when the phone rang. It was my nephew Clayton. I was happy to hear from him because I hadn't spoken to him in a while. Then he told me that my sister-in-law Kathleen, my brother Michael's wife, had been found at the bottom of a staircase in her North Caroline home in the early morning hours. She had fallen down the stairs, and she was dead.

老实说，我的第一个也是最直接的想法是：“哇，这就是发生在Liz身上的事情。” 伊丽莎白拉特利夫（笔者注：Martha和Margeret的亲生母亲）是我们家的好朋友，也是迈克第一任妻子帕蒂最好的朋友。 1985年，当他们都住在德国时，她死于楼梯坠落。她是如此亲密的朋友，以至于我的兄弟迈克尔后来帮助抚养了她的两个女儿。

Honestly, my first and immediate thought was. "Wow, that's what happened to Liz." Elizabeth Ratliff was a very good friend of our family and the best friend of Mike's first wife, Patty. In 1985, when they were all living in Germany, she had died in a staircase fall. She was such a good friend that my brother Michael had then helped raise her two daughters.

接下来涌入的想法是：凯瑟琳死了，我的上帝，这怎么可能，这太可怕了，这肯定是一场梦。

Then the next thoughts came flooding in: Kathleen is dead, my God, how can that be, this is horrible, this is a dream.

克莱顿让我开车去旧金山向伊丽莎白·拉特利夫的两个女儿之一玛莎汇报这个消息。在过去的十年里，她作为我的兄弟迈克尔及凯瑟琳的养女一起生活，她正在旧金山大学完成她的第一个学期，离我家只有 15 分钟车程。克莱顿说迈克本人非常沮丧，他不能来接电话，但后来他接了电话，简短地嘱咐我马上去找玛莎。

Clayton asked me to drive to San Francisco to break the news to Martha, one of Elizabeth Ratliff's two daughters. She had lived with my brother Michael and Kathleen as their foster child for the past decade, and she was finishing her first semester as a freshman at the University of San Francisco, just a 15-minute drive south of my house. Clayton said that Mike himself was so upset he couldn't come to the phone, but then he did, just briefly, and told me to get right over to Martha's.

取消早餐约会后，我跳进车里。当我快到金门大桥时，我的另一个侄子托德打电话来询问我的进展。我告诉他我已经安排了一位神父和宿管与我一起把消息告诉玛莎，他们在宿舍与我碰头，我们一起敲了 Martha 的门。我能听到她咯咯的笑声——毕竟，这是周六一晚上的party时光后的周日一早，她的阿姨在门后“窃听”着她。她终于让我进去了，她的咯咯笑声戛然而止，因为她看出了我举止的严肃。她的瞳孔变大了，她的室友离开了房间，我告诉她凯瑟琳死了。我告诉她，她的养母被发现死在楼梯底部（“就像你的第一任母亲一样”，我心想），我们在她的床上拥抱并抽泣。

After canceling my breakfast engagement, I jumped in my car. As I was approaching the Golden Gate Bridge, Todd, my other nephew, called to ask about my progress. I told him I had already arranged to have a priest and the dormitory's resident advisor meet me to help me give Martha the news. The priest and the RA met me in the dorm, and together we knocked on Martha's door. I could hear her giggling -- after all, here was her Aunt Ann bugging her on a Sunday morning after a Saturday night of college partying. She finally let me in, and her giggles stopped abruptly as she could see the seriousness of my demeanor. Her pupils got huge, her roommate left the room, and I told her Kathleen was dead. I told her that her foster mother was found dead at the bottom of the stairs (just like your first mom, I thought to myself) and we hugged and sobbed on her bed.

我安排那天晚上飞往东部，我让玛莎参加了期末考试并交卷，让她的朋友们帮忙收拾过寒假的行李。她和我乘坐红眼航班来到了北卡罗来纳州。

I made arrangements to fly east that night, for Martha to take her final exams and hand in her papers later, and for her friends to pack up her belongings for winter break. She and I took the red eye to North Carolina.

克莱顿和他的女朋友在机场迎接我们，我们都在华夫饼屋停下来吃早餐。然后我们去了我哥哥迈克尔的隔壁邻居家，因为我们被告知凯瑟琳的死亡现场正在接受警方的调查。我对此感到不安，但接受了它，觉得这一定是猝死现场要走的标准流程。

Clayton and his girlfriend met us at the airport, and we all stopped at Waffle House for breakfast. Then we went to my brother Michael's next door neighbor's house, because we were told that the scene of Kathleen's death was being investigated by the police. I had an uneasy feeling about that but accepted it, feeling that it must be standard protocol for sudden deaths.

当我们到达邻居家时，我们看到了我兄弟房子周围的黄色胶带。有很多警察，还有电视摄像机，这是克莱顿提醒我们的另一件事。在调查完成之前，不允许任何人进入我兄弟的房子。一天多来，警察一直在搜查他的豪宅和占地三半英亩的土地。

As we arrived at the neighbor's house, we saw the yellow tape around my brother's house. There were lots of police, and there were also TV cameras, another thing Clayton had warned us of. No one was allowed in my brother's house until the investigation was complete. Police had been searching his mansion and three-and-a-half acre grounds for over a day.

后来我们都去了我哥哥的另一个好朋友克里·萨顿的家。克里慷慨地向我们家人开放了她的房子。家人从全国各地陆陆续续赶来，加入了我、玛莎、克莱顿和托德的行列。克莱顿和托德是迈克尔第一次婚姻的儿子。玛格丽特是玛莎的妹妹，也是丽兹·拉特利夫的另一个女儿，她从新奥尔良的杜兰大学赶来。我的其他兄弟杰克和比尔来自内华达州；比尔，一位律师，是第一个到达的。凯瑟琳的姐妹们从弗吉尼亚开车南下，最后凯瑟琳的第一次婚姻的女儿凯特琳从纽约抵达，她在康奈尔大学读大二。

We all went over later to Kerry Sutton's house, another good friend of my brother's. Kerry had graciously opened up her house to our family. Family members came trickling in from across the country, joining me and Martha and Clayton and Todd, Michael's sons from his first marriage. Margaret, who is Martha's sister and Liz Ratliff's other daughter, came up from New Orleans, where she was attending Tulane. My other brothers Jack and Bill came from Nevada; Bill, a lawyer, had been the first to arrive. Kathleen's sisters drove down from Virginia and finally Caitlin, Kathleen's daughter from her first marriage, arrived from New York, where she was a sophomore at Cornell.

随着时间的流逝，我们仍然不被允许进入房子，玛格丽特问我迈克是否是凯瑟琳死亡的嫌疑人，我不知道。我哥哥比尔告诉我们，警方正在彻底调查这起死因，以防有入侵者谋杀的可能性。听到这话，我松了口气，因为这似乎是有道理的。我很高兴警方进行彻底的调查：一个年轻而充满活力的人因这种方式（笔者注：入侵者杀害）而死去似乎更合理，听到迈克不是嫌疑人，我松了一口气。玛格丽特也明显地表现出了宽慰，并接受了这个想法。

At one point, as the hours passed, and we were still not allowed access to the house, Margaret asked me if Mike was a suspect in Kathleen's death in any way. I didn't know. My brother Bill told us that the police were investigating the death thoroughly, in case there had been an intruder who might have murdered her. I was relieved to hear this, for it seemed to make sense. I was glad they were doing a thorough job. It seemed more plausible that a young and vibrant person would die this way, and I was relieved to hear that Mike was NOT a suspect. Margaret also visibly showed relief, and acceptance of this idea.

我为我的兄弟迈克感到非常难过，因为我知道他非常爱凯瑟琳。他一直是一个不安分的人，总是在寻找着什么，从不满足于他所拥有的，直到拥有了凯瑟琳。他似乎真的很满足于 48 岁的凯瑟琳，比他小 10 岁，而她是我见过的唯一一个能与他坚强的性格相匹配的人。当他表现出愤怒的一面时，她可以逗他笑。我最尊重凯瑟琳的是，她第一次真正地让玛莎和玛格丽特成为这个家庭的正式成员。在她嫁给迈克之前，女孩们并不总是参加家庭聚会和旅行，但凯瑟琳改变了这一切。而她似乎是唯一可以和我哥哥相配的人。如果他对她大喊大叫，她会说，“哦，闭嘴，迈克，”然后他们会一起爆笑。他们在一起看起来真的很幸福。我对他的损失感到非常抱歉。

I felt great sadness for my brother Mike, for I knew he loved Kathleen very much. He had always been a restless person, always looking for something, never satisfied with what he had, until Kathleen. He seemed truly content with Kathleen, who at 48 was a decade his junior, and she was the only person I ever met who could match his strong personality. She could make him laugh when he showed his angry side. What I respected most about Kathleen was that she had truly made Martha and Margaret full members of the family for the first time. Before she married Mike, the girls didn’t always come on family gatherings and trips, but Kathleen changed all that. And she seemed to be the only person who could be compatible with my brother. If he yelled at her, she would say, "Oh, just shut up, Mike," and then they would break up laughing together. They truly seemed happy together. I was very sorry for his loss.

那天深夜，我们都在邻居家庆祝了玛格丽特的 20 岁生日。我们吃蛋糕、唱歌、送礼物，分担着凯瑟琳去世这令人难以承受的悲伤。

Late that night, we all celebrated Margaret's 20th birthday at the neighbor's house. We had cake and sang and gave gifts and shared the overwhelming sadness of Kathleen's death.

接下来的日子被葬礼的各种安排填满，所有一切都是由凯瑟琳的姐妹们安排的。而此时已经很明显，尽管与我的希望相悖，但我哥哥显然是谋杀凯瑟琳的嫌疑人。一天深夜，当警察终于把房子交给我们时，第一个进去的人是克莱顿和托德，迈克的两个儿子，还有我的兄弟比尔。他们都立即开始寻找任何可能的入侵者的迹象。除了迈克——他去了自己的书房，倒腾起电脑来。

The ensuing days were filled with the funeral arrangements, all made by Kathleen's sisters. And it was now evident that, despite my hopes to the contrary, my brother was clearly a suspect in the murder of Kathleen after all. When the police finally turned the house over to us late one night, the first people who went in were Clayton and Todd, Mike's two sons, and my brother Bill. They all immediately began looking for any signs of a possible intruder. All except for Mike, who went to his office to work on his computer.

我和家人一样感到愤慨的是，我的兄弟正在被调查为可能的凶手。我以为当地的乡巴佬警察们不了解他的智慧以及有教养的生活方式。他是一位小说家和报纸专栏作家，曾撰写批评当地警察的文章。作为一个 60 年代思想自由的孩子，我认为警察腐败是一种常态。我很生气，我的兄弟受到如此可怕的对待。

I shared in the family's indignation that my brother was being investigated as a possible murderer. I thought the local hick cops didn't understand his intelligence and cultured lifestyle. He was a novelist and newspaper columnist who had written articles critical of the local police. As a liberal minded child of the '60s, I embraced the concept of police corruption as the norm. I was livid that my brother was being treated so horrifically.

我回到湾区后，我哥哥被控谋杀并入狱。我非常愤怒。我和我的亲友在蒙特雷的圣诞假期是一个非常悲伤的假期。我知道迈克在监狱里。他不仅要承受失去灵魂伴侣的悲伤，还被指控谋杀了她。我无法想象那一定是多么可怕。我从亚马逊网站为监狱里的他订购了一本弗吉尼亚·伍尔夫的小说。后者是我一生的文学导师。

After I returned to the Bay Area, my brother was indicted for murder and jailed. I was absolutely outraged. My Christmas holiday with my in-laws in Monterey was a very sad one. I knew Mike was in jail. Not only did he have to bear the sadness of losing his soulmate, he was accused of her murder. I couldn't imagine how horrible that must be. I ordered a Virginia Woolf novel from Amazon.com for him in jail. He had been my literary mentor my entire life.

当我重返工作岗位时，我的同事目睹了我对兄弟困境的悲痛和愤怒。我在加利福尼亚州里士满的低收入地区担任护士，我的同事可以共情那些与警察打交道时不公正的待遇。

When I returned to work, my co-workers witnessed my grief and my outrage about my brother's plight. I work as a nurse in a low-income area -- Richmond, California -- and my co-workers could empathize with dealing with injustice from the police.

在接下来的几个月里，我每周至少打电话给我的兄弟一次，分享我的积极想法、鼓励他、同情他。我们互相发了电子邮件。他让我了解调查的最新情况。他告诉我其他楼梯上的死亡事件，最初被认为是谋杀，后来被证明是事故。他告诉我世界著名的法医调查员来到他家，得出的结论是凯瑟琳的死绝对是一场意外。亨利·李博士（笔者注：李昌钰）几次来他家，一次是为了拍摄《20/20》。很明显，迈克有一个非常确凿的案例来证明他是无辜的，所有这些专家都可以作证。检察官吉姆·哈丁看起来像个土包子，一个头脑简单的南方律师，不可能理解我兄弟这样一个复杂人的复杂性。

In the ensuing months I would call my brother at least once a week to share my positive thoughts, to encourage him, to sympathize with him. We e-mailed each other. He kept me current with the investigation. He told me of other staircase deaths that were initially thought to be murders and later proven to be accidents. He told me of world-renowned forensic investigators who came to his house and concluded that Kathleen's death was definitely an accident. Dr Henry Lee came to his house several times, once for a filming of "20/20." It was clear that Mike had a very solid case to prove that he was innocent, with all of these experts to testify. And the prosecutor Jim Hardin seemed like such a bumpkin, a simpleminded Southern lawyer who could not possibly understand the intricacies of such a complex person as my brother.

我每天都在网上阅读新闻报道。我认为任何认为我兄弟有罪的人要么是恶意的，要么是愚蠢的。他们只知道他们读到的简单的东西。他们不认识我的兄弟。我认识我的兄弟，我知道他是无辜的。因为我认识他，我知道他是无辜的。他是我的兄弟，和我在同一个屋檐下长大，在同一个家庭被抚养成人。我知道他不是凶手。

I read the news reports online every day. I thought that any person who thought my brother was guilty was either malicious or stupid. They only knew the simple things they read. They did not know my brother. I knew my brother and I knew he was innocent. Because I knew him, I knew he was innocent. He was my brother, raised in the same household as me, raised in the same family. I knew he was not a murderer.

迈克给我发了几次关于凯瑟琳的女儿凯特琳的电子邮件。他抱怨她是多么的贪婪，她是如何试图获得凯瑟琳的人寿保险，以及她是多么想在凯瑟琳的坟墓上竖起一个华而不实的标记。凯特琳也相信迈克是有罪的。不管迈克怎么想，我都同情凯特琳。作为凯瑟琳的女儿，她应该得到她的任何遗产，即使她想在母亲的坟墓旁摆上粉红色的火烈鸟，也应该被允许。毕竟，不管是什么原因，她失去了母亲，我对她的毁灭性损失表示同情。但我也认为她认为迈克有罪是错误的，而且她也一定是头脑简单，容易被达勒姆警察操纵，以至于她看不到真相。

Mike e-mailed me several times about Kathleen's daughter Caitlin. He complained about how greedy she was, how she was trying to get hold of Kathleen's life insurance, and how she wanted to put up a gaudy marker on Kathleen's grave. And Caitlin also believed Mike was guilty. I felt sympathy for Caitlin, no matter what Mike thought. As Kathleen's daughter, she deserved any inheritance there was, and even if she wanted to put up pink flamingos on her mother's grave, she should be allowed. After all, no matter the cause, she lost her mother and I empathized with her devastating loss. But I also thought she was wrong to think Mike guilty, and that she too must be simpleminded to be so easily manipulated by the Durham police that she couldn't see the truth.

凯瑟琳的尸检回来了，裁定是他杀。我知道这个结论是错误的。我还在网上阅读了伊丽莎白·拉特利夫的原始尸检，其中描述了由于跌倒而导致的“头皮上多处深裂伤”，我心想，是的，由于从楼梯上摔下来所造成的多处裂伤。我记得在德国格拉芬豪森的伊丽莎白·拉特利夫家里那个有问题的楼梯——上面没有铺地毯而且很硬。

Kathleen's autopsy came back ruled a homicide. I knew this conclusion was wrong. I had also read online Liz Ratliff's original autopsy that described "multiple deep lacerations over the scalp" due to a fall, and I thought, yes, multiple lacerations because of a fall down the stairs. I remembered the stairs in question in Liz's house back in Grafenhausen, Germany. They were not carpeted. They were hard.

母亲节那天，我在内华达州里诺拜访了我的母亲。比尔安排了一个来自北卡罗来纳州的新闻工作人员采访我的父母。妈妈说她根本不想这么做，压力太大了，但当然，如果这对迈克有帮助，她会的。她让我坐在她身边。我不想，但我想帮助妈妈，所以我做了，不想说什么。但是当记者问我问题时，我几乎无法闭嘴。 “凯瑟琳显然是因为头皮撕裂而摔倒流血而死，”我坚持说。“我是一名有急诊室经验的护士，我知道头皮撕裂是如何流血的。”

On Mother's Day, I visited my mother in Reno, Nevada. Bill had arranged for a news crew from North Carolina to interview both my mother and father. Mom said she did not want to do it at all, it was so very stressful, but of course if it would help Mike, she would. She asked me to sit by her. I didn't want to, but I wanted to help Mom, so I did, not intending to say anything. But when the reporter asked me questions, I could barely shut up. "Kathleen obviously fell and bled to death from scalp lacerations," I insisted. "I am a nurse with emergency room experience, and I know how scalp lacerations bleed."

我暗示道凯瑟琳的头撞到金属椅子上。我坚持说迈克尔爱凯瑟琳，而 17 年前在德国以同样方式死去的丽兹是迈克的挚友。他永远不会伤害她。我非常热情地为我的兄弟辩护。

I suggested that Kathleen had hit her head on a metal chair. I insisted that he loved Kathleen, and that Liz, who had died the same way in Germany 17 years before, was Mike's dear friend. He would never hurt her. I was very passionate in defense of my brother.

我已经给老板说了，当审判开始时，我需要去北卡罗来纳州。没有什么可以阻止我为我的兄弟而存在。即使冒着失去工作的风险，只要我需要，我也会在那里，即使对他有帮助，即使是整个审判。毫无疑问，我对我兄弟的事业献身。

I had informed my boss that when the trial started, I would need to go to North Carolina. Nothing could keep me away from being there for my brother. Even at the risk of losing my job, I was going to be there for as long as I was needed, even for the entire trial if it would help him. There was no question of my devotion to my brother's cause.

几个月过去了。我每天都阅读新闻，每天都感到悲伤和愤怒。我很担心被保释的迈克。虽然我知道他可能不会被判有罪，但我知道一切皆有可能。我继续与玛莎、玛格丽特、托德和克莱顿通信。玛格丽特会要求保证迈克不会被判有罪。我不想误导她，但她不想听到任何其他的可能性。对我们的家庭来说，这是一段漫长、悲伤和不安的时光。

The months passed. I read the news daily, and sadness and outrage was with me daily. I was worried about Mike, who was out on bail. Although I knew he'd probably not be found guilty, I knew that anything was possible. I continued correspondence with Martha and Margaret and Todd and Clayton. Margaret would ask for reassurance that there was no way Mike would be found guilty. I didn't want to mislead her, but she did not want to hear of any other possibility. It was a long and sad and upsetting time for our family.

我妈妈于 2002 年 6 月去世。我去雷诺医院看她，因为她的臀部骨折了。她身体非常健康，三天前还打过桥牌。尽管患有慢性类风湿性关节炎，她仍然非常活跃。 6 月 19 日，当我离开她的病床时，她告诉我，她恐怕不会“熬过这一关”了。我说：“这太荒谬了，只是臀部骨折了。”她说她压力很大。第二天，她就去世了。

My mom died in June of 2002. I went to Reno see her in the hospital because she had broken her hip. She had been very healthy, and had played bridge just three days before. She was very active despite her chronic rheumatoid arthritis. On June 19 she told me as I left her hospital bed that she was not going to "make it through this one." I said, "That's ridiculous, it's only a broken hip." She said she was under a lot of stress. The next day she was dead.

我为迈克尔感到非常担心和难过，我让重症监护室的护士给她戴上呼吸器和起搏器，直到迈克尔可以从北卡罗来纳州回来。我解释说，他在6个月前突然失去了妻子。杰克、比尔和我看着护士们让妈妈的身体保持着活力，直到迈克晚上 10 点 30 分到达，这样他就可以吻她与她告别。然后他们解开了呼吸器。

I was so worried and sad for Michael, I had the nurses at the intensive care unit keep her on the respirator and the pacemaker until he could come from North Carolina. I explained that he had lost his wife suddenly only 6 months earlier. Jack and Bill and I watched the nurses keep Mom's body alive until Mike arrived at 10:30 pm so he could kiss her goodbye. Then they unhooked the respirator.

我在里诺的逗留是痛苦的，不仅仅是因为我母亲的突然去世，我和她非常亲近。没想到，迈克对我很残忍。如果迈克提出什么建议，比如给我生病的父亲喝一杯酒，而我反对，迈克会恶毒地攻击我。“听着，甜心，”他会咆哮道，“在这里并不是你说了算。”他甚至对爸爸让我开车而不是他而感到愤怒。迈克的一些口头攻击让我颤抖和流泪。

My stay in Reno was traumatic, and not just because of the sudden loss of my mother, to whom I was very close. Unexpectedly, Mike was very cruel to me. If Mike proposed something, like giving my ailing father a drink of liquor, and I opposed it, Mike would turn on me viciously. "Listen, sweetheart," he'd growl, "you're not calling the shots around here." He was even furious that Dad would let me drive his car but not him. Some of Mike's verbal attacks left me in trembling and in tears.

当我回到家时，我向我的朋友和公婆描述了他的行为。“他真是个混蛋，”我说。“他当然不是杀人犯，但他就是个混蛋。”到那时，我怀疑我的很多朋友都认为他是凶手，但没有人敢在我周围发出这样的想法。甚至没有人敢提出这样一种可能性。尽管他在里诺对我很残忍，尽管我觉得奇怪的是，一个因谋杀女人而面临审判的男人会让自己如此残暴地对待另一个女人——况且是在公共场合——这对我来说，仍然不可能相信他有杀人的能力。正如我所说，我坚定而热情地为他辩护。

When I returned home, I described his behavior to my friends and in-laws. "He's such an asshole," I said. "He's not a murderer, of course, but he's such an asshole." By then I suspected that lot of my friends thought he WAS a murderer, but no one dared voice that thought around me. No one dared even suggest it as a possibility. Despite his cruelty toward me in Reno, and despite the fact that I found it strange that a man facing trial for murdering a woman would let himself be so abusive to another woman -- in public, no less -- it was still impossible for me to believe he was capable of murder. As I said, I was adamant and passionate in my defense of him.

然后在 10 月下旬的一天，我在工作时接到了我哥哥比尔的电话。杰克也上线了。比尔说他刚刚看到了案件的完整报告，所有将在审判中使用的证据，而迈克的境况看起来并不好。比尔和杰克想从我患有严重痴呆症的父亲那里拿走 17.5万美元，以帮助支付庭审费用。迈克的第一任妻子帕蒂也借给他同样的金额。他说，这笔借款是由迈克房子的留置权担保的。

Then one day in late October, I got a phone call at work from my brother Bill. Jack was also on the line. Bill said that he had just seen the full report on the case, all the evidence that would be used at trial, and things didn't look good for Mike. Bill and Jack wanted to take $175,000 from my father, who had severe dementia, to help with the costs of the trial. Mike's first wife Patty was lending him the same amount. The loan was secured, he said, by the lien on Mike's house.

比尔分享了证据。在凯瑟琳的裤子后面发现了迈克带血的脚印。她的血溅在他的短裤的内侧。他是双性恋，最近的表现几乎印证了他完全是同性恋。而且还有一份价值140万美元的人寿保险单，而麦克是受益人。迈克获胜的情况比他最初想象的要难得多。接着，比尔挂断了电话。

Bill shared the evidence. Mike's bloody footprint was found on the back of Kathleen's pants. Her blood splatter was found up inside his shorts. He was bisexual and had been more recently pretty much exclusively homosexual. There was a $1.4 million life insurance policy with Mike as the benefactor. It would be harder case for Mike to win than he had initially thought. Then Bill hung up.

突然间，我的生活发生了变化。我能感觉到我的思想打开了。裂缝扩大了，一些念头、想法和后知后觉涌入。我又想起了1985年在德国的伊丽莎白·拉特利夫家的楼梯。这甚至不是一个完整意义上的楼梯，从中跌落仅意味着笔直地着陆。她是怎么得到多处深裂伤的？我重读了她的尸检报告。在 1985 年她从楼梯上摔下来时，并没有没有发现任何体内血管破裂作为动脉瘤破裂的证据（笔者注：德方当时出具的尸检报告中伊丽莎白·拉特利夫的死因为动脉瘤破裂）。这怎么可能？

And suddenly, my life shifted. I could feel my mind open up. The crack widened and thoughts and ideas and realizations flowed in. I thought of Liz Ratliff's staircase in Germany in 1985 again. It wasn't even a full flight of stairs. It just led to a landing. How DID she get multiple deep lacerations? I re-read Liz's autopsy. There was no ruptured blood vessel found as evidence of the ruptured aneurysm she supposedly had that caused that fall down the stairs in 1985. How could that be?

实际上只有一种合理的解释。

第二天我给哥哥杰克打电话。我和杰克可以无所顾忌，我解释了我曾对迈克不可动摇的信念发生了什么。然后我给比尔打电话。“我的上帝，比尔，”我说，“也许是他干的。”“你究竟想说什么？”比尔厉声说道。我们的谈话就这样结束了。我想我没有想说什么。

There was really only one reasonable conclusion.

I phoned my brother Jack the next day. I can talk to Jack, and I explained what was happening to my unshakeable belief in Mike. Then I phoned Bill. "My God, Bill," I said, "Maybe he did it." "What's your point?" snapped Bill. That was the end of our conversation. I guess I had no "point".

我不理解这种态度。从那时起，我的家人选择不理我。一位家庭成员告诉我，无论如何都要捍卫家庭，无论如何。另一个家庭成员告诉我，即使迈克进了监狱，凯瑟琳和丽兹都不会起死回生。

I didn't understand this attitude. From that point on, my family chose to ignore me. I was told by a family member that one defends a family no matter what. No matter what. I was told by another family member that if Mike went to jail it wouldn't bring either Kathleen or Liz back.

我的生活发生了变化。我感到非常孤独。我保持沉默，我给迈克的电话和电子邮件也停止了。

My life had changed. I felt very alone. I kept silent, and my phone calls and e-mails to Mike stopped.

2 月，比尔要求杰克和我同意再用爸爸的 35 万美元为迈克辩护。我父亲在精神上没有能力批准或反对。我说拿他的钱是公然不道德和错误的，我不同意比尔的提议。迈克立即打电话给我发电子邮件说我很贪心，我只关心我的遗产。这与他对继女凯特琳所说的无比相似。那是我与哥哥迈克的最后一次交流。

In February, Bill asked that Jack and I approve using another $350,000 of Dad's money for Mike's defense. My dad was not mentally competent to approve or object. I said it would be blatantly unethical and wrong to take his money, and didn't agree to Bill's proposal. Mike immediately phoned and e-mailed me to say I was greedy, and that I only cared about my inheritance. It was similar to what he had said about his stepdaughter Caitlin. That was the last communication I ever had with my brother Mike.

审判开始时，我在电视上看到我全家在法庭上，我的兄弟、侄女、侄子和前嫂子帕蒂。三个多月来，我每天都在法院电视上观看庭审。我看着比尔接受电视采访，说全家人是如何支持迈克的。我看到他说迈克永远不会这样做。我看了很多对我所有家人和迈克的采访。

When the trial started, I saw my entire family in the courtroom on TV, my brothers and nieces and nephews and former sister-in-law Patty. I watched the trial on Court TV every day for more than three months. I watched Bill give TV interviews and say how the entire family supported Mike. I watched him say that Mike would never ever do this. I watched many interviews with all my family members and Mike.

我试着和比尔说话。我试图告诉他迈克是一个需要控制的危险人物。我坚定地认为迈克无法控制自己，就像病人或疯狗一样，他需要被收容。我害怕迈克。比尔不理我。没有人听我的。

I tried to talk to Bill. I tried to tell him that Mike was a dangerous person who needed to be controlled. I had decided that Mike couldn't control himself. Like a sick person or a rabid dog, he needed to be contained. I was afraid of Mike. Bill ignored me. No one listened to me.

然后，我打破了公开的沉默，与《达勒姆先驱太阳报》的汤姆·加斯帕罗利交谈。众所周知，加斯波实际上在报纸上占据了迈克曾经的旧专栏。我告诉加斯波，我认为我哥哥有罪。 “我仍然希望我认为他是无辜的，”我告诉他。 “如果我这么想，生活会轻松很多。”该专栏于 2003 年 9 月 7 日开始发表，而当时的迈克正在接受审判。那天之后，除了杰克，我的大多数家人都不再和我交流了。我成了一个局外人。

Then I broke my public silence to speak to Tom Gasparoli of the Durham Herald-Sun. Gaspo, as he is known, had actually taken Mike's old column at the paper. I told Gaspo that I thought my brother was guilty. "I still wish I thought he was innocent," I told him. "Life would be a lot easier if I thought that." The column ran on September 7, 2003, while Mike was on trial. Most of my family, all except for Jack, quit communicating with me after that day. I became an outcast.

有罪判决于 10 月 10 日到来。我很惊讶，但意识到尽管有一百万美元的辩护，正义得到了伸张，它表明司法系统确实有效。因为即便一个人富有、白种人、有口才、有教养、聪明，还花费了超过一百万美元，他并不总是能逃脱法网。这是对美国司法系统的致敬。

The guilty verdict came in on October 10. I was surprised, but realized that despite a million dollar defense, justice was served. If anything, it shows that the justice system really does work. Because a person is rich and white and well-spoken and cultured and intelligent and spends over a million dollars, he doesn't always get off. It is a tribute to the justice system in America.

在审判中，辩方谈到了合理的怀疑（笔者注：reasonable doubt）：没有凶器、没有证人。但是有压倒性的证据，而辩方从未正面回应过这个问题。迈克的辩护者们仍然不能（扳倒这些证据）。没有人能解释凯瑟琳脖子前面的软骨骨折，除非是企图勒死的证据。没有人能解释为什么她整个身体上唯一的伤就是头部深深的裂伤和前臂背部的瘀伤。其他地方没有发现瘀伤作为跌倒的证据。丽兹·拉特利夫也是如此。但迈克的捍卫者们一再重复“合理怀疑”。没有人说那天晚上到底发生了什么。毛巾是怎么落到她头下的？擦血是什么时候完成的？凯瑟琳的尸体是怎么翻过来的？没有提供任何答案，仅有“合理的怀疑。”

At trial the defense spoke of reasonable doubt. No murder weapon. No witness. But there was overwhelming evidence, and the defense never addressed that. Mike's defenders still can't. No one can explain the fractured cartilage in the front of Kathleen's neck, except as evidence of a strangulation attempt. No one can explain why the only injuries on her entire body are the deep head lacerations and bruises on the backs of her forearms. No bruises are noted elsewhere as evidence of a fall. The same was true of Liz Ratliff. But Mike's defenders repeat and repeat and repeat "reasonable doubt." Not one person has said what really happened that night. How did towels get under her head? When was the wiping up of blood done? How did Kathleen's body get turned over? No answers get provided. "There was reasonable doubt."

我知道大多数人无法想象他们的兄弟或儿子或父亲可能是冷血杀手。但是每个凶手都有兄弟姐妹和父母。毕竟，杀人犯究竟长什么样子？

I know that most people cannot imagine that their brother or son or father could be a cold-blooded murderer. But every murderer has sisters and brothers and mothers and fathers. After all, what does a murderer look like?

有时我会遇到认识迈克的人。他们看到他的口才和魅力，他们说他不是凶手。这让我很困扰。凶手如果不可能是看起来婚姻幸福的白人、富有、聪明、有教养？那他们看起来应该是怎么样的？

Sometimes I encounter people who have met Mike. They see how well-spoken and charming he is, and they say that he's no murderer. That bothers me a lot. Murderers aren't white, rich, intelligent, cultured men who appear to have happy marriages? What do they look like?

我如果相信我的兄弟是司法系统的受害者而他被错误地指控，那我会是一个平静得多的人。那至少对我来说“更说得通一些”。而知道他确实做了对我而言要难得多。这需要很大的力量。但我睁开眼睛，看着事实和真相。非常痛苦，令人难以置信。我被迫重新审视我的生活，并意识到在过去的 20 年里，我一直生活在这样一个男人的陪伴中，这个男人残忍地谋杀了我的一个朋友，一个美丽善良的女人，然后又谋杀了另一个女人，他美丽、充满活力的妻子。我无法逃避真相。这通常很痛苦，但对我来说却是必要的。

I was a much calmer person believing that my brother was the victim of the justice system, that he was wrongly accused. That at least made sense to me. It is much more difficult for me to know that he did it. It takes a lot of strength. But I opened my eyes and looked at the facts and truth. It is very painful, and it is mind-boggling. I have been forced to reexamine my life, and realize that for the last 20 years that I have been living in the company of a man who brutally murdered a friend of mine, a beautiful, kind-hearted woman, and then murdered another woman, his beautiful, vibrant wife. I can't run away from truth. It is often painful, but it is necessary for me.

Ann Christensen（左）| Michael Peterson（右）

好久没看到《阶梯之间》这么好看的剧了。HBO首映联播三集然后一周更一集的节奏差点把这部剧给毁了。卡司什么的就不夸了，无可指摘。据说脸叔无惧新冠毅然飞往美国，只为了能拍这部剧。当然他也在这部时隔25年再次回归小银幕之作里完美地献出了自己封神的演技。

这部改编自真实事件的剧作，展现了美国司法暗黑的一面。很多人看完了会疑问，迈克尔到底有没有杀凯瑟琳？但相比较对真相的追问，我觉得这部剧的精彩之处，就在于它揭开上流社会人们虚伪的面具，赤裸裸地把这个看似完美的富裕阶层的白人家庭彻底掰开揉碎了给观众看。拨开婚姻、家庭、情感、谎言的迷雾，人性的复杂逐渐浮出水面。

在这个关系错综复杂看似团结亲密的家庭中，你会发现迈克尔是一个善于掌控人心，尤其在情感中把女人玩弄于股掌之间的双性恋。迈克尔虽然是一个小有名气的作家，但这些年来他毫无成就，除了每天在健身房和男人打情骂俏之外，就是忙着给自己老婆凯瑟琳画饼，对着小狗大呼小叫。而凯瑟琳作为公司高层，整日忙于工作养家、帮迈克尔抚养他和前妻生的两个儿子以及他领养的两个女儿。就在凯瑟琳公司股价下跌多年努力付诸流水的时候，这么多年一直处于紧绷状态从来没有真正放松下来的她，知道一切都完了。崩溃的她心如死灰。凯瑟琳深知，自己的老公是个一无所成，无法给她依靠的人。她忙着举办各种party,给想要涉足政坛的迈克尔打理关系笼络人心，甚至为此放了自己亲生女儿毕业典礼的鸽子……从这里也可以看出，她为迈克尔，为这个家庭全情奉献出了自己。

就在凯瑟琳因为股票化为泡沫心烦意乱，向迈克尔诉苦他们去巴黎养老计划化为泡影的时候，迈克尔只是淡淡地说了一句：别担心，小说电影版权会赚钱的。殊不知，版权仅卖出了一万美元而已。

“你不是孤军奋战。”迈克尔说。

身心俱疲的凯瑟琳道出了长久以来压在自己心里的真实想法：“有时候我觉得一个人反而更容易。”而迈尔克此时并没有宽慰凯瑟琳，反而指责她从一个双眼闪闪发光充满乐趣的人成为一个忘记如何微笑，不懂得享受生活的人。但让凯瑟琳变得如此糟糕的罪魁祸首正是迈克尔。

要强的凯瑟琳展现给外人的永远是那么完美，她甚至从未向自己的亲姐妹透露自己的婚姻家庭生活是一地鸡毛。只有在陌生人面前，凯瑟琳才能吐露自己的心声。在商场逛街的凯瑟琳和售货员闲谈，说自己的第一任丈夫，满嘴谎言。而第二任丈夫迈克尔很优秀，但却是她见过的最奇怪最令人兴奋的人。

售货员说:“听起来很棒，听起来都不像是真的。”

凯瑟琳解释道：“没错，迈克尔总是在这两者之间徘徊。”然后她无奈地叹了口气自嘲道：“除非他瞒了我这么多年，没有一丝露馅。”剧中通过展现凯瑟琳与陌生人的闲谈，迈克尔这双鞋子到底有多硌脚，也只有她自己知道了。但曾经婚姻失败的凯瑟琳，为了包装自己所谓的完美人生，不得不蹒跚漫步。当然迈克尔也确实工于心计，很会讨好女人。他把曾经向凯瑟琳描绘的未来浪漫巴黎生活图景又重新给苏菲画了一遍，以至于苏菲对他爱慕不已，对他的遭遇心生怜悯，为了让他能够被无罪释放奔走呼号，辗转于美国与巴黎之间。而就在他出狱之后接受采访，却对苏菲为他所做的一切闭口不谈，把她从自己的人生里抹杀干净。当苏菲满怀憧憬打点行李准备和迈克尔去巴黎开展新生活的时候，却惨遭迈克尔的冷漠拒绝。

在这部剧的结尾，未去巴黎的迈克尔躲在寂静的深夜中孤独自白：我没有说谎，只是没有说出全部的真相。人能真正了解对方吗？大多数时候只是掩人耳目，大家都不了解自己的另一半。

Most of it is just smoke and mirrors.

是的，都是障眼法罢了。就像迈尔克掩盖自己的性取向，就像凯瑟琳掩盖自己不完美的人生。

当把生活中那层精心伪装的面具揭下之后，事实往往更让人难以接受。就像最后，迈克尔把笑得无比灿烂的凯瑟琳照片摆在床头的时候，我们才发现那是只有一个人的凯瑟琳，未被婚姻家庭生活压得喘不过气的凯瑟琳。

而谁又能笑着从婚姻当中走出来呢？

迈克尔到底有没有杀凯瑟琳，已经不重要了。它是一个永远无法解开的谜团。但毫无疑问，在婚姻中，迈克尔确是实实在在谋杀了凯瑟琳。也许凯瑟琳是死于意外，但她也早已死于婚姻，丧命于自己精心包装的完美人生的剧本里。

在《阶梯之间》的片头，有一行福音：

“我生于世间，为真相见证，凡信奉真相的人应该听听我的声音。”

“真相，那是什么？”

人们总是善于掩人耳目，把自己精心编造的完美谎言，当成自己人生的真相。