糖果

曾經有一對男女名叫Candy和Dan，那年一切都很火熱，所有的蠟燭都在樹上融化。
他在陽臺上蠕動，到處攀爬。為她做任何事。My Danny boy.
成千上萬的鳥兒，最小的鳥兒，裝點著她的秀髮。一切都是金色的。
一天晚上，欲火點燃了繡床。他風度翩翩，壞得恰到好處。
我們住在陽光和巧克力宮殿里，午後縱情狂歡。
Danny，鋌而走險的戰士。Candy為你祈禱。
那天的余暉鯊魚般巡遊。這次，我要試試你的辦法。
你如此迅速的進入我的生命，並且我喜歡，我們在歡愉的泥濘中碾得粉碎。
我雙腿潮濕，屈服於你。萬物之中有條鴻溝，整個大地都傾斜了，這就是我們追隨的。
你在我體內，伴著夜晚降臨，難再入睡。
水池中的怪物，黑暗本質的一部份，飛翔。
雞和奔跑的青豆。我所看到的地方。有時我恨你。星期五。那並非我所指。
暴風雨。。。年復一年。。。有時我恨你。
床邊的一盆花 我一時失手 打破了你的頭 孩子死於清晨
我給他起了個名字 他的名字叫Thomas 可憐的小傢伙 他的心像魔法鼓般跳動

——《Candy》寫在牆上的詩

总是有那么一段发烧的时候
人生的非常时候。
佐之以海洛英的话
这个发烧可能是一种极致
这个电影的张力的明显的
而且这种张力，很迷幻，没有一定的方向，---这是作为毒品的candy？
看这个电影的时候，很容易恍惚。尤其是导演还用天堂、地狱、人间来分段，更加迷惑。
镜头干净，直接
最后的时候，又是那样光彩照人的、性感青春的candy到中国餐馆来找洗盘子的他，他哭了。
回不去了。他说
我突然想起，陈升在刘若英访谈中，说的话，表达的情绪。
candy，用所有的有颜色的化妆品，在他们的爱巢陋室的所有空的能够写字的地方，写下了他们的爱情日记，很有冲击力。一如她的离开，一如她父亲的眼神。
一如她母亲说的，你在我这个美丽的女儿身上做了什么？
所以他说，回不去了？

糖果的颜色总是多变的。可口的吮吸，诱人的味道总是让人迷惑留恋。割舍不掉糖果融化在口中甜美的味道。即使完全化为乌有，至少曾经含在口中的丝丝幸福还是难以忘怀。

      Candy影片中的希斯操着浓郁的澳洲口音，说话时仿佛口中就含有块指尖大的糖豆。影片开始在幸福的转盘中开始了两个人的故事，他们的爱很甜美，也很痛苦。幸福快乐总是那么简单，不论是什么方式，偷车也好，诈骗也罢。只要能搞到钱，搞到嗑药。就能在二人世界中臆想天伦之乐。这样的幸福就像转盘的转动总是短暂停留。

社会的万能之手是不会放过每一个生活在其中的人们，道德，家庭，信仰，责任。总是无时不刻考究着每一个生活在其中的人们。于是，这就成了他们甜蜜的负缀。爱不再是那么的简单单。

 

      影片中希斯在淡蓝色的泳池里游泳，与爱人缠绵。时间仿佛静止般美好。嗑药后的性能使他们忘记一切的烦恼。生活在现实中的我们何尝不想逃避。但是负缀总会在美好过后将他们拉回来，没有正式的工作，没有钱供养家庭，日日为衣食苦恼，穷竭似乎要把灵魂从躯体中逼出。一切的一切注定，这样的爱困难重重。

      希斯还是那么的爱candy，拼了一切的爱。可是还是无法挽回毒品对生理带来的恶果。伴着candy的流产，生活的希望就此永久的破没了。碌碌无为的度日，已不再是隔世桃园般的美好，理想与不能，社会的逼迫，痛苦与压抑充斥着彼此。

      家里的每一处房间，每一个墙壁，都成为了怨念的宿怨。

      candy,在墙壁的每一句话都是一把把利剑，直直的插在希斯的心中。活活的杀死了一颗满爱的心。

 

      分别后在餐馆的偶然相见，似乎彼此回归正常生活后能在从心开始。但此时，希斯抑郁已久的过往记忆如决堤的大坝，瞬间迸发。一个男人，泪水就这样无助的在伤过自己的女人面前留下。他还是深爱着她，还是爱得灵魂消散，凝神对望彼此后很久很久，sorry,I can't back.因为爱的太深已经再难以拾起过往。

      Candy依然是美的那么美妙，动心，糖果依然是甜美的耐人寻味，但是爱＋甜的等式左后并不是天堂。所以 ，偶尔含糖，是美好的回忆，时时含糖，却是蛀牙满口的后果。

      糖果的色彩依旧，不禁诱人，还能腻人。。。

Once upon a time, there was Candy and Dan. Things were very hot that year. All the wax was melting in the trees.
He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her, my Danny boy.
Thousands of birds, the tiniest birds, adorned her hair. Everything was gold.
One night the bed caught fire. He was handsome, and a very good criminal.
We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars.
It was the afternoon of extravagant delight.Danny, the daredevil. Candy went missing. The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks.
"I wanna try your way this time."
You came into my life really fast, and I liked it. We squelched in the mud of our joy. I was wet-thighed with surrender.
Then there was a gap in things, and the whole earth tilted.
This is the business. This, is what we're after.
With you inside me comes the hatch of death.
And perhaps I'll simply never sleep again.
The monster in the pool.
We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans. Everywhere I looked.
Sometimes I hate you.
Friday -- I didn't mean that, mother of the blueness.
Angel of the storm. Remember me in my opaqueness.
You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth.
Fly away sun.
Ha ha fucking ha you are so funny Dan.
A vase of flowers by the bed. My bare blue knees at dawn.
These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going too.
I broke your head on the back of the bed.... the baby died in the morning. I gave him a name. His name was Thomas. Poor little gal....
His heart pounds like a voodoo drum.

「The future or the thing that gleamed. The present was so very, very good. I wasn't trying to wreck Candy's life. I was trying to make mine better. We wanted to share absolutely everything. Especially the best bits.」


「Here is the deepest secret that nobody knows. Here is the root of the root, and the bud of the bud, and the sky of the sky,in the tree called life, which grows higher than soul can hope, or mind can hide, and this is the one that is keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart. 」


「We'd found the secret glue that held all things together in a perfect place where the noise did not intrude. Our world was so very complete.」


「Everything we ever did. we did with the best of intentions, but events tumble! And the years pile up.The world is very bewildering to a junkie.」


「What do you think this is about? Sunday Lunch. It's a pretty simple thing. But with you two, there's no such thing as simple. It‘s the drugs! The drugs always come first. Do you have any idea what you have done to my family? To me? What happened to that beautiful little girl?」


「Once upon a time, there was Candy and Dan. Things were very hot that year. All the wax was melting in the trees. He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her, oh Danny boy. Thousands of birds, the tiniest birds, adorned her hair. Everything was gold. One night the bed caught fire. He was handsome and a very good criminal. We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars. It was the afternoon of extravagant delight. Danny the daredevil. Candy went missing. The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks. I want to try it your way this time. You came into my life really fast and I liked it. We squelched in the mud of our joy. I was wet-thighed with surrender. Then there was a gap in things and the whole earth tilted. This is the business. This, is what we're after. With you inside me comes the hatch of death. And perhaps I'll simply never sleep again. The monster in the pool. We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans. Everywhere I looked. And sometimes I hate you. Friday -- I didn't mean that, mother of the blueness. Angel of the storm. Remember me in my opaqueness. You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth. Fly away sun. Ha ha fucking ha you are so funny Dan. A vase of flowers by the bed. My bare blue knees at dawn. These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going too. I broke your head on the back of the bed but the baby he died in the morning. I gave him a name. His name was Thomas. Poor little god. His heart pounds like a voodoo drum.」



「Everything's dead. Everything's turning blue.」


「And that was it. That was all that was scattered to the winds. Casper was gone. Schumann was lost. Candy was off getting better. The coast. Rehab. And I...was. I was just... The world was full of startling new concepts. I couldn't think.I couldn't breathe. I was waiting for her to come back. Because she was everything. She was everything to me. 」


「There's no going back. If you're given a reprieve, I think it is good to remember just how thin it is.」


「When you can stop, you don't want to. When you want to stop, you can't.」

我在1月10号的时候写了一篇关于Heath Ledger的文章. 没想到就在短短半个月的时间里, 他就这样消失了. 还是母亲打电话通知的. 当时的我张大了嘴, 说不出半个字. 前几天一个美国男孩子在他自己的家里举办了一个Heath 追悼会派对. 很可惜我没能参加. 现在周围大大小小的报刊杂志全都充斥着Heath死亡的消息, 和他生前种种的不羁. 认识Heath 不是因为爱国者, 不是因为断背山, 是因为糖果.


Candy. 爱情毒针.


一部澳大利亚的片子, 到处是炎热的天气, 土气的口音.


Candy是一个艺术学院的学生. Dan是一个无业青年. 快速相识, 疯狂坠入爱情. 期间种种不易. 整个过程,是从天堂到人间到地狱.


最后的时候, Dan 在唐人街的某家餐馆里洗盘子, Candy 找到他.

他说不可能了. 一切都已经物是人非.

Dan和Candy的爱情. 从美妙幸福变成最后的悲伤惨烈, 让人哀叹.

但是这样的爱情, 也变成我一生的追求.

这个过程

会不会是我今后将要面对的?

成熟之后, 爱得人多了,

与之相交会,

从此生命里便留下了他们的影子

渐渐成为我的一部分,

挥之不去.

这个自己原来是有很多人来构成的.

我曾经说话像他. 现在开始写字像你.

最终变为失格.

最终抛开了我自己.


我的时间有限, 能与你共度.

觉得有幸

请求你在些快速转变的季节里

与我一同晒太阳, 一同持家, 一同喝啤酒, 一同入睡.

不管最后结局是什么

我都将倾尽自己的心.